The Balance of Things

Life is funny.  I believe a bit in the balance of all things.  Today was one of those days where the 'ups' were 'up' and the 'downs' were 'down'.  For some reason, my class decided to try to kill me with volume and energy today, I'm convinced of it.  I had a total Kindergarten Cop moment, where I just yelled "STOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  I felt bad, because I really don't want to yell at the kids (for real!), but at that moment, I had lost all patience, and I could feel the blood rising up my arms, to my neck, to my head.  I apologized to my students for losing my cool, and the kids genuinely felt bad for their behavior.  When I asked them how much recess time they deserved, even the most well-behaved student said "hmmm... maybe 4".  Karma, baby.

As much as they drove my blood pressure up today, my kiddos are truly warm-hearted, and I really do love them.  I kid you not, one of them came to give me a hug today and said "this kind of hug usually lasts an hour, I hope you don't mind."  I almost cried!  Balance, balance, balance. 

So I am sitting here with a warm belly after a delicious (solo) home-made soft taco dinner.  My report cards are done, the dishwasher is going, and my baby Oreo is purring.  I'll take the scale of life tipped a little on the "good and easy" side any day.  Life is pretty good. 

Here I am:

Kate Suarez: chef de cuisine, momma cat, cuddle lover.

Your Daily Awesomeness

Even though my students were out-of-control-crazy today, I had a couple of truly awesome moments.

We picked out the song that we are going to sing for the end of the year all-school show, and it is going to blow everyone away, it's so freakin' cute.  It is the story of the 3 Little Pigs set to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face".  How adorable are a gaggle of 5 and 6-year-olds singing to Lady G en français??? 

Also, I have realized I may be a really mean teacher, but at least teaching my kids something, because I got this hilarious email from a mom today:

Hi Kate!

I thought you might get a kick out of this:  this morning, [Student] was telling me about a dream she had last night. For some reason, the kids must've gotten in trouble because you were taking all their Pokemon, all their silly bands, all their toys from their backpacks!  It was a bad dream.

But here's the part I like -  she was DREAMING IN FRENCH !   I don't think she even realized it as she was telling me(and translating) everything you were saying in the dream!  Pretty fun.

Hope all your dreams are happy.

How awesome is that?  I love my kiddos and classroom parents.  Today I also had a student say, "You're the BEST teacher I ever had!".  Well kiddo, I'm the ONLY teacher you've ever had!  That's why I like kindergarten - get 'em while they're young so they have nothing else to compare you too, and they love you no matter what! :)  

Here's the jist:

Kate Suarez - little monster, (successful for the moment) French teacher, silly band confiscator...

This Is Where It Begins

So, I begin this journey on March 26, 2011.  I've been toying with starting a blog for a long time now, and I think now is as good a time as any.  I entitle this blog after one of my favorite Barenaked Ladies songs, because I think it kind of sums me up.  Sometimes, I am just so afraid of letting people in and letting all of myself show, because I am so afraid of being judged.  This is where that ends.  After this past year or so, I realize I need to let my guard down, hold my chin up high, and recharge my life.  Thus begins my blog/journal journey.  I feel as though I need to have a 'true renewal' à la Ramona Singer from the Real Housewives of New York.  Ok, so I know that it is already the end of March, but I'm ready for a fresh start and some new resolutions. 

With Rob in Colorado, I have had a lot of time on my own to think about life and the place that I am at now.  This year has been tough.  Rob lost his job last May, we got our beloved Suburban stolen, our house was broken into, we had credit card fraud, and I got pneumonia and scabies.  While I've spent most of the last year eating my feelings and feeling sorry for myself, I had a moment of realization this week that sucker punched my right square in the gut.  What the hell do I really have to feel sorry for?  I have a great life, and the only thing that is preventing me from enjoying it 100% of the time is me. 

Last night I got a text from my best friend, and while it possibly may have been a drunk text, she said, and I quote, "I would pay $200 every month to hang out with you regularly."  Meaning, she would pay for a plane ticket to see me every month - I am not Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman!  After laughing out loud for a good five minutes, I actually got serious and began to think - would I hang out with myself for $200 a month?  I really don't know. So in order to be able to say "Hell yes!" as a response, I begin my renewal.

Here are some goals:

I plan to write my thoughts and happenings down more often.  If not for myself, for my future children so they can see what their mom was like in the 'olden days'. 

I want to make a better effort to be a better friend, and be more involved in their lives.  I don't want to miss important moments.  I want to be someone that my friends can count on for anything.

I want to be more outgoing.  I want to (gulp) take more risks and enjoy life a little more.  Drink wine, be merry, smile more, talk to strangers, be bold.

I want to stop feeling sorry for myself and sulking.  What good is that accomplishing anyways?

Instead of talking about what I want/should do someday (like trips, dreams, aspirations), I will start making them happen!  Hell, I am always thinking about little things like "I should join a book club"... that is so easy to do.  I am woman, hear me roar!

I'm sure that I will add more to this list as time goes by, but I want to let these goals sink in and get to work on making it happen.  So I leave to you with my status at this moment:

Kate Suarez, 26 year old daughter, wife, kindergarten teacher (get ready for some funny stories about that).  This is where it ends... for now.