Friday, September 23, 2011

"When I'm Stuck A Day That's Gray"

I've officially been back in Colorado almost five weeks now.  The newness of my return is swiftly running out, and I'm afraid I'm falling back into old habits of pre-move.  I'm settled into the apartment, unpacked, and I've become an official Colorado resident.  I've applied for a job, and I've sent in all of my materials for a Colorado teaching and substitute license.  I'm now in the waiting game before I can apply to districts to sub. 

So now my thoughts have began to wander and I'm constantly in search of something to do.  I keep making mindless to-do lists, and while making lists and crossing items out is one of my favorite things to do, the lists keep getting more and more boring.  Here is the one that I finished today:

1. Go to library and return dvds/books; pick up hold
2. Go to Petsmart for cat litter and food - bring coupon!
3. Recycle ink cartridges at OfficeMax - apply for rewards card!
4. Go to Comcast and exchange DVR
5. Buy a new dress for wedding
6. Buy wedding present

Sigh.  Today I drove into Denver with my to-do list in hand, and got completely turned around - thanks a lot for running out of batteries, Garmin.  Normally I would have really gotten frustrated and scared, but today I just thought "well, at least this will waste some time."  Sad, huh?  I'm so ready to get back into a routine.  I desperately want a cool new job that I look forward to - really any sort of routine would be awesome.

One thing that is creeping into routine is my insomnia, though.  I find myself worrying about the house constantly, and I just can't sleep.  I just want it to sell.  We keep dropping our price, and now that I'm so far away, I keep worrying that something is going to happen to the houes, and there's nothing I can do to about it.  We're already losing a lot of money on it, and I'm thinking I never want to buy a house again!  I worry that we're not going to be able to get out of this hole. 

Ok.  Enough.  I know I started this blog as a way to stop feeling sorry for myself, but I'm not writing my worries about the house for sympathy.  Sometimes it just feels better to write down my worries - much like my (sometimes beloved) to-do lists.  I think now that I've gotten some of my worry out, I'll be able to get a little sleep.  I have so many things to be thankful for.  My family, my friends, my husband, my kitty, my health... the list goes on and on.  I feel confident that this mess will be over soon.  As "Annie" said... the sun'll come out tomorrow.  And right now, tomorrow is already today - just a few more hours before the sunrise.  I feel better already. :)

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